Wewiggins’s Weblog

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One week

on February 25, 2015

It has been one week since you left. One week since I traced your beautiful face with the tips of my fingers. Since I brushed the few loose hairs back from your cheek. Since I laid my cheek next to yours and let my tears wash onto you. One week my love. One week since I held your hand and rubbed it in mine. Since I kissed your lips. Your forehead. Every part of you that Mommy could. Since I heard the “bum… Bum” of your heart beating through the stethoscope. Since I whispered, “I LOVE YOU” over and over until my whispers became a plea for you to hold onto those words and emotions as you moved on from this world. I still whisper them in my head and say them as I sob in the shower. I now hold your baby doll and white fur coat to my cheek and soak them with tears. I trace your face on the canvas portrait of you and pretend to brush back your hair. I hold your brothers’ hands now and listen to your daddy’s heartbeat when I lay my head on his chest at night. Somehow I know that a part of you lives on in each of them. I hear your song in Asher’s hum. I feel your love in Bailey’s heart. I see your strength in all of your Daddy. I see your eyes in Beba. You are still here, though you are not. One week already feels like a lifetime my Cricket. And though my heart is broken, I am blessed to call you my daughter. I know that you are dancing and singing now. And I know that when my day comes you will be waiting to meet me with a bouquet of lilacs and excitement to show me the most beautiful field of flowers. On that day we will dance together. We will sing and hug. We will kiss. I will trace your face and hold it in my hands as I whisper, “I LOVE YOU.”

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30 responses to “One week

  1. Rachel Rouvel says:

    Beautiful and touching. My heart goes out to you.

  2. Mrs. Hart says:

    I sure wish I could twinkle my nose and bring her back to you. But I can’t. But now as you look around her memory will live on in all the things you see. As with the loss of my dad and my daughters PAPA we always look to the sky for the brightest stars and we know that is PAPAS eyes watching over us. So just know she is still with you in your everyday journeys guiding and protecting you as you did for her. Until you meet again, may the Lord continue to comfort you as you face each day without her, here on earth. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, your always in my prayers. πŸ™πŸ‘ΌπŸ™πŸ‘ΌπŸ™πŸ‘Ό

  3. The biggest hugs and kisses sent to you!!!

  4. So many prayers and comfort filled thoughts for you and your family.

  5. Caroyn Simpson says:

    My heart breaks for you and your family. I’m so blessed to have followed your journey and I wish I had beautiful words to express how much it means that you shared your little Cricket girl with me through you facebook posts. It has been a privilege to pray for Audrey and your family. I rejoice knowing she is with our Father in heaven and I now pray for you and yours regularly that He will comfort you.

  6. Carrie Thomas says:

    Absolutely beautiful……

  7. Tracey says:

    I have learned so much from Audrey and from you. Thank you. Peace and love to you.

  8. Brooke DeBolt says:

    You’re an inspiration to so many Christina! You have the heart of a saint and your reward will be great in heaven. Thank you for sharing Audrey with us…..she made me smile on so many days when I needed it. God Bless you and your beautiful family!

  9. Mary Williams says:

    Thinking of you guys today and praying for you now, and in the weeks and months to come.

    -Mary (MacDermaid) Williams, VHS class of ’95

  10. Karen says:

    Beautiful words about such a special little girl. My heart continues to be with you, as are my prayers. Audrey made my life so much brighter and will forever inspire every facet of my life. What an impact she had on all who followed her journey. Thank you for sharing her with us. Please know we all are here for you… and we will do anything possible to help and comfort you. Rest beneath the shadow of God’s mighty wings… He is your strength. Hugs, love, and prayers for you and your entire family.

  11. sherie67 says:

    I cry with you momma. I wish I could give you a big huge hug. Lovely words to honor your sweet baby.

  12. stacie miller says:

    Incredibly touching and beautiful my heart goes out to you and your family.

  13. traci says:

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers

  14. My heart aches with yours… Losing a precious child isn’t easy. Yet, her life had purpose! And through your sharing, the world has shared in her journey and purpose. I know that doesn’t take away the pain; I remember the pain of losing my son, but through faith and understanding her purpose, you find strength. My prayers continue to be with you and your family. May God give you peace and bless you through this process.

  15. Uncle Paul & Aunt Karen says:

    Love & Hug’s to all of you ..God’s Blessing..

  16. Heather says:

    Thank you for sharing

  17. Hilda Nelly and Helmut Melo says:

    All the love in world be with you, because, next to her, you have learned what is about love. Be strong, your tiny angel smiles for you from here to eternity.

  18. Colleen Stewart says:

    Thankyou for sharing your journey with your beautiful Audrey with us. We do not live close by, we didn’t hold her hand or hold yours but she melted our hearts and you and your family inspired us with your strength and your love. We have smiled, we have been sad, we have prayed, we have rejoiced and celebrated and we have been in awe of medical procedures. But most of all we have thanked God for Audrey. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts, your love and your faith.

  19. Karen Fish says:

    Such beautiful words. I am so sorry for your loss. She was such a beautiful girl.

  20. Susie Record says:

    I have no words for this feeling. Sending so much love. Thank you for sharing her with us. She is in my heart forever.

  21. Valorie says:

    Sending you love and blessings and remembering your beautiful daughter, Audrey. β™‘

  22. peachylynn08 says:

    Sweet girl & sweet momma. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace and comfort. She lives on in YOU too, you know. You’ve blessed the world with her by creating this blog! Blessings ❀

  23. Sandy Keryk says:

    Thank you for your inspiration, courage and love you’ve shared on this journey, May God’s peace comfort you. Be still and know that God is here holding your daughter’s hand..

  24. Lisa says:

    Beautifully written!!

  25. Shari says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for you. Praying for your family tonight.

  26. gsoulen51 says:

    I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

    Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

    “Gone where?”

    Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

    Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she come!”

    And that is dying.

    – Henry Van Dyke

    Loss is not an easy thing to deal with. I lost my father-in-law not long ago. And even though he was not a blood relative, he was a father to my wife, her two brothers and her sister. I myself an am adopted child, so I have faced four losses: my birth parents and my adopted parents. Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control, I did not attend any of their funerals. The grieving process never really happened because of the time spent apart as well as the distance we were from each other. Lastly, my adopted father and I left each other on bad terms, so talking to him, even in letters, was very difficult. It wasn’t until my father-in-laws death did I really have a chance to grieve. And yes, even over the years of loss, I still grieve in my own way and tears still swell up when I see something on TV or the news that brings back memories. I don’t really think you ever truly get over the loss. You learn to cope and deal with it as it slowly becomes a part of you. Audry will always be apart of who you and your family will become in her absence and in some ways keeping her memory alive helps in the grieving process. It did for me as crazy as that may sounds. I truly pray that you and your family don’t ever loose the memories you had with Audry. She truly was a special girl; full if life and love.
    Again, I hope and pray that the verse “Gone From My Sight” was not offensive to you. And if it was, I am truly and humbly sorry. I felt a tug at my heart strings to share this with you and I thank you for allowing me this privilege. God Bless you all.

  27. Debbie Miller says:

    what a beautiful, loving tribute to your daughter. while I must admit I never want to experience your loss, I hope my love for my children is a fraction of what your message conveyed.

  28. Barbara Ward says:

    I started crying when i read the first sentence. By the time i was done i couldnt stop. I could never have the strenrh that you do. There are no words to describe how much i am sorryfor your loss. I followed her. I felt like she was a part of me and if it is ok i would like to keep feeling like she is with me. You are really brave. I wish i could have been therw but i live in New York.

  29. Gillian says:

    I started crying as I read this. ❀ I had the chance to meet Audrey and it broke my heart when I read that she had passed away.

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