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Sucker Punched

on May 31, 2014

Today we received news from Audrey’s surgeon that felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. I feel guilty that I have a stomach and can even say this phrase right now. Yesterday was her 14th dilation. It was also the second time her esophagus closed completely and third time it was perforated. Although, I was able to hold it together in the consult room with the surgeon what I felt on the inside was devastation. My daughter was in pain and about to admitted for the 6th time. I would be separated from my boys again. It seemed like things were constantly going wrong. I was not prepared for them to get worse.

Today we were informed that Audrey’s esophagus is damaged at the stricture site. She also has been dealing with several other issues including reflux, feeding tube issues and a hernia. We were given three options for moving forward to consider and choose from.
Option A) Nissen (to address reflux), stent placement, close failed G tube / J tube sites. Place new GJ tube.
Option B) Nissen, close failed G tube / J tube sites. Place new GJ tube, cut out damaged section of esophagus, pull ends together and RE-repair
Option C) cut out entire esophagus and turn stomach into a new esophagus.

None of these options sound very appealing to us. It is heartbreaking to see Audrey struggle through all of this for so long and essentially have to “start over.” I immediately felt sick and began questioning God. Why? Why my little girl? Why so much? When will it get better or easier for her? Will it even? Why, God? Why? It isn’t fair!

Then reality hit. I always tell our 8 year old that life isn’t fair. It isn’t meant to. be. And he can sit around complaining and feeling sorry for himself or he can meet his challenges head on. It’s time to listen to my own advice.

So, my friends I am not happy with the decision we are facing or the options we’ve been given. But I will meet this head on. And I’m asking for your help. Please, pray for discernment as we make a decision on how to proceed, for peace with what we decide, and for healing for Audrey. Thank you for walking this journey with us.


4 responses to “Sucker Punched

  1. Mona Tracy says:

    oh sweeties. I am so sorry and we have walked the same road you are walking with our Tim 28 yrs ago. We asked the same questions and faced the same challenges. But he has overcome each obstacle in his path and so will Audrey with God’s amazing love. Keep strong for each other and lean on our Lord. He will see you all through this as he did us. Our Tim will celebrate his 28th birthday soon and the doctors in Ann Arbor told us he probably wouldnt leave to be 3. God is amazing. Tim has never been healthier and I know Audrey will overcome all this as well. Until then we stand in the gap for you and will be praying for strength, courage, discernement for you and her medical teams to make the right decisions for her and for a complete recovery. God bless and we send our love. Mona and Phil Tracy and Tim

  2. am very sorry to hear of this new and worse setback. It is so hard sometimes to wonder WHY and not get a clear answer. The only thing you can do is pray GOD will lead you to the right answer. WE will all pray for all of you to be strong once again and trust that GOD will give you the right answer.

  3. My prayer this hour. Lord be with these parents and show them just what to do give them the peace they need and God touch this little angel of yours put your angels around this family amen

  4. marge bowden says:

    wish with all my heart that I could lay before you satisfactory answers to each of your questions……but knowing from our experience over the past 11 months…..it just plain don’t work that way. as I have been told and will now say to you….it has been a gift that you have opened yourselves up and allowed all of us to partake in this journey with you…..we ask our Father to surround you all with his presence and peace….may he guide you each and every step through each choice and bring this problem to a ….complete….resolution …..we love ya all muchly…buddy and me

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