Wewiggins’s Weblog

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Footprints On Our Hearts

on August 24, 2013

I have tried a few times to come up with something up beat for this post, some encouraging words to help things seem a little less scary. The fact is, though we are relying on God to get Audrey and our family through this we ARE still scared. And I think that God’s okay with that. On Thursday, Bailey asked me, “Mom, why doesn’t God just make Audrey better so we can all go home healthy now?” That’s a pretty tough question to answer. I’m not God and cannot speak for Him, but as my husband said about a week ago, sometimes God chooses not to fix things the way we think He should because He wants to change our hearts. That’s the best answer we can give at this time.

Bailey’s question came on Thursday. The same day Mommy noticed Audrey’s coloring get a little red. The same day her breathing became visibly more labored. This is the day her DSAT alarm sounded more frequently, her secretions became more bothersome, and her doctor checked on her more often. It was during one of these checks they determined her repogle (suction) tube was not working properly and needed replacing, again. We watched as they sat our baby girl up and she struggled to breathe while they attempted to replace her repogle and suction out extra fluid. It was so hard to watch.

When they got our baby girl under control we were informed that medication would be started now. They had “prepared” us that this day was coming. The defect in her heart had built up extra fluid in her lungs. The medication would help her body get rid of the extra fluid. They also sent a sample to check for pneumonia. Have not heard those results yet, but they are treating her with antibiotics as a precaution.

She seemed to be doing better yesterday. Her color and breathing appeared to improve. The doctors rounded much less again, though they increased the medication dose. Audrey rested the majority of the day until late afternoon when she decided to be wide awake for hours. Mommy loved looking into her deep blue eyes. Daddy loved that she was holding her ducky and would make her physical therapist proud. Big brother even loved talking with her and she watched and listened intently.

We are praying that the medications will do their jobs quickly and efficiently so that Audrey can grow strong and be ready for her surgeries when the time comes. We’re also praying for peace for big brother, Bailey and for us. It is physically and emotionally draining to see our baby going through this and knowing that we can’t make it better. But we are so thankful that we are here to love and comfort her through all of it. And thankful for all of you who comfort us.

Even through this difficult time we can see our blessings. My favorite poem is Footprints. Jesus is carrying us right now. And I imagine the size of His footprints continue to change as we find Him in all of you. We feel Him in the late night text message checking to see if we need anything, the friends who set their own struggles aside to make a visit and give a hug, the family who continues to support us by caring for Bailey, bringing us belongings from home and so many other things, the gift cards received, and the words of encouragement. We see Him each day as we purchase our $ .25 pop sponsored by Coke, grab our free breakfast, dinner or snack donated by area organizations, talk with the many other families staying in the Ronald McDonald house with us, and lay our heads down to sleep in our temporary home. God never promised to fix this situation for us, but He did promise to walk with us through it. He is making good on that promise my friends.

We really have been so blessed by all of you in what is such a tough situation. At this time I will say that our physical needs are met as we have an abundance of Subway and other gift cards. We do ask that you continue to pray for healing for Audrey, wisdom for the doctors, and strength for our family. Bailey will be moving in with his grandparents soon for school. I’m just not ready to be away from him that much and I’m really struggling with it.

It’s humbling to hear how many people follow the blog. To hear such kind words and constant prayers, often from people we barely know…. It really can be overwhelming, but know that even if we can’t respond, it is heard, read and appreciated.

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2 responses to “Footprints On Our Hearts

  1. Tina Wiggins says:

    My prayers go up to the thone of Heaven for you and your prescious babies–a special touch for Audrey that she may gain strength for the future and that the Lord guide the doctors and surgeons, a touch for Asher that he may grow and not feel left out and feel abundantly loved, and for Bailey as he wonders the biggest question of all Why doesn’t God just fix her? may he find peace and the answers–Remember—you are loved and prayed for each day across the nation–and if God brings you to it He will bring you thru it!

  2. Jenni Black says:

    Sometimes it is hard to remember that their is a greater plan. HE is in control and nothing goes without HIS knowing. Your family is wonderful and amazing. Thank you for sharing your blog with me!

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